No one told me caring for my parents would be a full-time job. Would it be wrong to say that I am tired? Would it be wrong to say that this is unfair? Unfair only because I have two siblings that check out whenever they want and I don’t have that luxury.
Currently, my brother is not speaking to my father, which means he’s not speaking to my parents as a whole. You see, he was supposed to come down to stay with my parents for a week while I went on a business trip. This, in itself was a miracle. Financially is about the only way we can get my brother to “show up”, but he agreed to this with no hesitation. Now admittedly, this was a business trip that my husband and I were secretly going to squeeze in an anniversary weekend on. I figured since I had to be in New Orleans for this convention, why not stay through the weekend. My husband and I are approaching our 25th anniversary and we thought it would be fantastic if we could kill two birds with one stone while we had help with my parents.
Well, after my lovely brother agreed to stay with mom and dad for that week, he got into a disagreement with dad and has now decided that he is washing his hands. Unfortunately, this is not the first time that my brother has checked out of things. He tends to do this whenever things don’t go his way. You will never believe what the argument was over!
Get this… my dad will not agree to stop driving. That’s it! So, I totally agree that my dad should not be driving. He has fallen at least four times in the last year. Honestly, he has not been the same since his surgery a few months ago. That said, he truly should no longer be driving himself let alone my mother. However, what my brother is failing to understand is that my dad is losing his independence and that is a very scary thing. He and my father had a drag out argument over this issue. I haven’t said much because but I know I will have to step in soon. I know that both of my parents’ safety is in question with my dad continuing to drive. His reflexes are slower because of his age and his bad knee. Currently, the FSL caregivers take my parents on most of their appointments and outings but there are times where mom and dad just want to be alone. This is when Dad drives. Thank goodness my dad hasn’t had any accidents so I can see his point of view but at the same time I believe that if not now, very soon he will have to turn over the keys.
As for mom…she has no clue what is going on. Lately everything has been the status quo with her. One piece of news, we may start a new drug to help whenever mom gets too confused or agitated. The doctors say that it will not take her completely out of herself but it will calm her enough to make her care easier on my dad. That’s a whole other argument because dad is very persistent about not sedating her. I have gathered up loads of information and printouts so that dad can see for himself that the medication will be beneficial. So, between the meds for mom, the driving for dad and my impending New Orleans trip you can see my recent dismay. The bottom line is that I will probably have to back out of the New Orleans trip. I will be here in Sun City just a sleepless as ever.